Notes from Norman

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"Prisoner of the Lord"

by Norman P. Grubb

All I see and know is that there seems to be a dividing line between partial and total. I have just been reading the recent “God’s Fool” book on St. Francis of Assisi. It’s the quality of the “totalness” which lives on as life from one generation to the other. Francis in his total God-abandonment when nothing earthly had him but all was “dung” to him except Jesus the World Lover, lives on to millions. Something “happened” when he stripped himself naked from all his luxury living and his raging father, and then had a God-filled radiance which drew and has drawn ever since. So there is a “totaling” when as George Muller said, long after his first steps out he “died”. I had that when I kind of left the WEC though I was leader, for a year to find God either all or nothing, and I found the “all in all” which has glowed in me like an inner furnace ever since (55 years?). What’s his name (my memory) my fellow student in Cambridge who became Cambridge Librarian and was a kind of guru among us, always had me yearly to speak in Cambridge until my autobiography came out of my final desperate search for God as all. “Poor Norman”, he said, “has now lost his way in depth questioning”, and dropped me, as indeed I have been dropped at every stage for my “extremes”, in the army, by my own IVF, by WEC Board who ‘dismissed’ P and me with CTS, now really my own WEC built since 1931 (except for one or two), then by our own Union Life. We have had Paul’s “forty stripes save one” on our inner selves if not our outer, and may yet land in Nero’s goal as “prisoner of the Lord”! Yes the glory of the cross leaves us with bearing the marks of the Lord Jesus. What highest honor!